Editor鈥檚 note: This segment was rebroadcast on April 22, 2026. Find that audio .
When you鈥檙e deep in the throes of intense emotions, it can be difficult to calm yourself down.
Many adults struggle to self-soothe, or the ability to calm themselves when feeling anxiety, anger or sadness. Many people turn to unhealthy coping mechanisms such as substance abuse and overeating when they can鈥檛 regulate their emotions, says Jennifer Bedoy, a licensed professional counselor based in Chicago.
鈥淪elf-soothing is the ability to calm yourself down when you鈥檙e stressed or upset or anxious,鈥� she said. 鈥淚t helps us manage our emotions in a healthy way without relying on others, unhealthy habits or shutting down.鈥�
4 questions with Jennifer Bedoy
How can people use mindfulness to calm themselves down?
鈥淚鈥檓 a big fan of mindfulness, just because it does help us kind of get into a more stable state. It鈥檚 really important to just allow ourselves to get ourselves in a stable space. Something that really helps is just slowing down, slowing down your breathing, slowing down when you鈥檙e talking because that helps your nervous system become kind of back into that regular state, which helps us think better, helps us talk better, and it helps us do basically everything in a better way.鈥�
How can deep breathing help self-soothe?
鈥淚 like to recommend when I鈥檓 working with children or even people who need something tactical, is to trace like a square in the palm of your hand. It just helps your brain to focus on what is going on. So it鈥檚 just like remembering that you are breathing for four seconds, holding it for seven, and exhaling for eight.鈥�
How can engaging the five senses help people ground themselves?
鈥淲hen you focus on what鈥檚 around you by naming five things you see or four things you touch or three things you hear, two things you smell, or one thing you taste, you focus on what is happening around me right now. It allows us to ground ourselves and to bring us back into reality. And again, it helps our brain kind of understand that you are not in danger, no physical danger. There鈥檚 no tiger in sight. You are just upset about something, and that鈥檚 all.鈥�
How can staying in the present help regulate emotions?
鈥淥ur brain automatically takes us to the future, and sometimes, actually, when we have anxiety, it鈥檚 because we want to control the future. And as you know, none of us have that ability. None of us have the ability to control our future. So when we stay in the present, we understand that right now, I can do XYZ, but I don鈥檛 know what鈥檚 going to happen in the future. I do not have control about what鈥檚 going to happen in the future, so you can only focus on what you can do here and now, today.鈥�
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produced and edited this interview for broadcast with . Raphelson also adapted it for the web.
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